The 3 a.m. mind, and what to do with it

At three in the morning your brain is a poor narrator. The part of you that plans and puts things in proportion is mostly offline, while the part that scans for danger is wide awake and has the room to itself. That is why a slightly awkward email can feel, at that hour, like the end of a career.

It is a state, not a verdict

The first thing to know is that night-time thoughts are not more true than daytime ones. They are the same thoughts, met by a more frightened version of you. You do not have to solve anything at 3 a.m. You only have to get through to a better-resourced hour.

Stop negotiating

Arguing with an anxious thought tends to feed it. Try naming it instead, plainly and without drama: there is the money thought, there is the health thought. Naming moves you half a step outside the thought, which is often enough room to breathe.

Give the body something to do

Lengthen the out-breath so that it lasts longer than the in-breath, for two or three minutes. If you are still awake after twenty minutes, get up, keep the lights low and do something dull until sleepiness returns. Lying in bed fighting teaches the bed to be a battlefield.

If the small hours are a regular visitor, that is worth bringing to a session. Sleep is usually the first thing anxiety takes, and one of the first things to return.